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Singles Chat Live Talk Discussion
Harlan's Single Talkshop chat room "Talk It Out Therapy" is open 24/7. Use as needed. No appointment necessary, No waiting, No cost.
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| Newly divorced; new to the board |
| Great little site here. I'm 44 and my husband just pulled the plug on our almost 8 year marriage. I left the states to move here to New Zealand to be with him. I brought my daughter with me (she was 12 then and is now almost 20 and lives on her own). I found out he wanted out while I was on holiday in the states back in July/early August. In a phone call on August 3rd, he told me he met someone else and that they were fully, intimately involved. But he said he felt we could work things out between us. He's been reading a great deal and feels his freedom is of utmost importance; I don't disagree. However, the things he was emailing me caused a great deal of confusion and gave me hope. Well, after returning here to New Zealand, I have discovered that there really is no hope after all. He wanted me to move out of our place and get my own. He is staying in our rented home with his two middle teenagers.
It has felt so weird to say goodbye to him and to the kids. It's sad to know he is, this very weekend, in another town, wrapped in the arms of another after all the promises of "Peggy is the only girl for me" and "I'll be beside you cheering you on"... and things of that nature. It's been a week a month I did not expect to live. I have thought more than once, "I just want out" - but I don't think I'll hurt myself.
I'm torn between staying here in this apartment and heading back to the U.S. - but my only child, my daughter, lives here with her partner. I don't want to be that far from her. Yet, the kids is the only real reason I have to stay. And seeing his children (even though they have been my stepchildren for eight years), is really hard. Knowing that we were "family" and now we're not. I feel a bit like a discarded old slipper, which has not mate.
I cry alot. Deep, raw pain I can hardly bear. It's gotten so bad at times that I start hitting myself in the face and yelling "Stop it! He doesn't want you!" - or hitting myself on the head to "snap myself out of it" so-to-speak". Maybe not such a good idea...but it does help me snap out of that deep anguish which I feel will completely swallow me if it goes on.
Not sure why I am writing all this, except that writing is my release. It puts things out there where I can see them from a slightly different perspective.
As a side note (I suppose) - the man who was my husband just a few short weeks ago has been very kind to me. We worked from home together so I have no income of my own. He has been kind enough to arrange this apartment (which his brother and his business partner own together) - and agreed to pay the rent until I can find a job and get on my feet financially. I have been in the apartment just under a week. My ex also gave me some money to get started with groceries and such. He even bought me some steaks to put in my fridge. It seems like he's been very anxious to just help me get on with so he can be rid of me. That's a hard pill to swallow.
On the other hand, I can't blame him. I was suicidal about 2 months ago. I just reached the end of my ability to cope and we ended up in a late night session with our marriage counselor we'd been seeing for 3 months. At that time, I told my ex how I fully appreciated if he wanted his freedom from a sick wife.
Now he's taken it and I work to re-create who I am.
We are both free and single - one by choice, the other by force.
I bought myself some pretty purple flowering plants yesterday. And some fresh herbs, though I don't see myself cooking very much anymore. How do you cook for one? |
| By : Classy Lady : Female |
| Date/time : 28/08/09 05:21:10 |
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Billy |
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Male |
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Wow, here I thought I may be the only 44 yr. old who was shoved under the 'i've met another and am in-love fresh and new' bus. My now ex-wife of 16 yrs. has our three kiddos in another state. The deep pain I experienced being near her and the kids needed some distance. The thought of the kids with their 'new' dad breaks my already immature heart daily...hell, minute by minute at times. For me it was absolutley final April 28, 2009.
I am really not the best at giving advice on how to handle these profound feelings. I am still negotiaing these turbulent waters myself..(and deep water scares the hell out of me....figures). I believe that if another were to share her time and life with me I know what not to do...Take her for granted.
Hang in there u r not alone... |
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29/08/09 15:22:31 |
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Classy Lady |
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Hi there Billy, I completely understand the reference to deep, turbulent waters and how they can rage, tossing the mind and emotions about. Sometimes we just need to lay on our backs and float, eyes to the heavens. When our strength returns, we may take a few more strokes toward shore. Today I'm going to write out some goals and descriptions of what I really want my life to be like in a month, 3 months, 6 months, and a year. Then I'm going to work backwards and fill in the gaps and steps needed to achieve those goals. I've never been all that good at goal setting; I'm a "live in the now" kind of person (maybe to my detriment) and take things as they come. I need to stop doing that, it gives my personal power away. I discovered, a day or two before I learned my husband had left me, that "Life does not happen upon us; we happen upon life" - in other words, we make our lives what they are. And we can, therefore, change what we don't like about it. I wish you well in your journey. Please feel free to stop in anytime for a visit. |
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29/08/09 15:54:33 |
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moncler louis vuitton shop |
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12/12/11 19:29:43 |
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4 |
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coach outlet |
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Male |
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"XMYXMY'---dgdgfewatytjhutychedthenumberCoach Factory Outlet of snowboarders —
and companies that profit from them — balloon in the last d
ecade. Realms where a snowboarder can ca
ve clean, remote lins are shrinking. But
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selves alone on the front lines against energy drinks.“It al stemmed from whenAustin was approac
hed by a company,” Fox said of their aversion to the flood f energy drinks int
o snowboarding. “We began talking about
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mething more positiv
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mith said opposition o energy drinks stemm
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09/01/12 05:12:50 |
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Louis Vuitton Handbags |
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Male |
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Louis Vuitton designer handbags come with a traditional monogram
and these monograms
are very popular and Louis Vuitton is very careful about placing
the monogram on the handbags.
The monogram can give an idea
about the fakeness of handbag
if it is not placed properly.
The monogram provided in the handbag
is usually symmetric in shape as well as color.
Louis Vuitton handbags
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Louis Vuitton is particular about stitching and almost same number
of stitches is used under similar bags.
Louis Vuitton also follows the stitching pattern for making handbags and for similar models same pattern of handle attachments and monograms attachment is made.
In original Louis Vuitton handbags,
you may not see any patch or stitching malfunction on either side of the bag. You should also see the inside stitching malfunction and you can easily identify a fake handbags especially if you see the stitching irregularity inside the handbag. Louis Vuitton also uses a single piece of leather for manufacturing handbags
and if you see some cut marks on the handbag, it may be one of the fake handbags. |
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06/04/12 01:11:22 |
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7 |
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CJM |
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Male |
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There are a couple of Coach Websites on the web where you can get printable Coach Vouchers. outlets also provide shopping programs that can enable customers to avail several promotions and sales available online. The winner of Coach has the chance to use the coupon in any Coach outlet. They been in this kind of business for many years now. Even though the Bags that you can buy at Coach Factory Outlet are inexpensive, rest assured that they are only selling authentic Coach Handbags. What you can see and buy in their stores is also available in the website. There are websites that gives away printable coupons, but these vouchers can only be used online. All you need to do is to sit in front of your computer table and use your wanted search engine. In a matter of minutes, you will certainly find a website that will give you the rebate coupon that you need. You can get the promotion code and avail good discounts from Coach Factory outlet stores. |
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15/09/12 03:08:16 |
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8 |
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Canada Goose UK |
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Male |
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This season Canada Goose UK managed to amaze the fashion pack with a complete repertoire of down jacket designs that pamper your body and at the same time have the power to reflect your style-awareness.The one of a kind Canada Goose Outlet Jacket is really significant for your physique and it will provide you with the fully warmth inside the unique season.You can spot a fake Canada Goose Parkas when the type is messy, bad stitching, and spelling mistakes.Unlike other brands that look like general, stylish design make Canada Goose Parkas Outlet fashionable. |
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26/09/12 01:43:06 |
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9 |
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Lyndee |
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Male |
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Coach purses USED to be made in the US of high quality saddle-grade leather (the kind they made horse saddles from) with really heavy brass fittings and extra heavy zippers that never broke! You could NOT get any better or more durable purse anywhere. Not anymore. My old Coach purse puts the new ones to shame–there is no resemblance whatsoever to the REAL Coach purses previously manufactured in the US.Today, most leather in both shoes and purses is coming from China courtesy of prison labor–regardless of the cost–although a few designer bags are made of high quality Italian leather, like Chanel’s. Vitton-from the US and Spain, althougth the leather can be coming from elsewhere. Got a Gucci–not worth it. The expense of having a high-end purse USED to be worth the money-but today, save your money and invest it in something that is actually worth the price you are paying.
classic car insurance automobile insurance quotes |
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14/12/12 00:46:22 |
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51 |
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Coach Outlet |
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Male |
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23/04/13 19:37:07 |
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