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Singles Chat Live Talk Discussion
Harlan's Single Talkshop chat room "Talk It Out Therapy" is open 24/7. Use as needed. No appointment necessary, No waiting, No cost.
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| Why Can't I Just Say No! |
| Why is it that I have no backbone and stand up to my husband (we are seperated-after 30 years of marriage). He has a girlfriend that he proudly flaunts around our small town, yet he talks to me everyday, sees how I am doing, and does act concerned-sometimes. He is always asking me for favors, whether it is to borrow my car (his breaks down all the time), help him do something, and I also have given him money when he has asked for it. (he has never paid me back). He has made it clear that we WILL be divorcing. My problem is I cant say no to him, I am not sure if it is because I feel obligated because we are still married or that I feel sorry for him because right now, his life isnt very good. I work a fulltime job as well as a part time job to make ends meet, he gets his unemployment and spends it on his girlfriend and forgoes paying his bills, then comes to me because he needs to pay his light bill. I feel bad both ways, that my finances are in better shape then his (although by his doing), yet I hate being used. I have tremendous guilt when he is floundering so much, yet he has made it clear with his girlfriend (who works but doesn't spend her money when they go out, or help him out-because he is to embarrassed to tell her). How can I grow a backbone and say enough and why do I keep setting myself up for this! |
| By : Lisa : Female |
| Date/time : 11/03/10 08:33:55 |
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1 |
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Carla |
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Female |
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Perhaps it would be best if you stop seeing him or communicating with him completely? Are you in a position where you can tell him he must communicate through your lawyer? |
| Date/Time |
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12/03/10 09:18:01 |
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2 |
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Lisa |
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Female |
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There are no lawyers involved in this right now...we have lost everything we have owned...houses, cars, business. There is no money for lawyers. There won't be anything to spilt per se or nothing to contest. Children are grown. I just need to quit bailing him out of things that HE has gotten himself into. I think it may be that I have allowed him to make me feel guilty for his screw ups and always needed to bail him out? |
| Date/Time |
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12/03/10 10:44:09 |
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3 |
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Carla |
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Female |
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Oh dear. You really need to stop giving him anything... time, money, sympathy. Maybe you could go grab one of those do-it-yourself divorce kits and then get him out of your life for good? It doesn't sound like he has much self-respect or any respect for you. |
| Date/Time |
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12/03/10 22:53:30 |
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4 |
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David |
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Male |
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anyone evnen there?
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| Date/Time |
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13/03/10 03:02:36 |
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5 |
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Male |
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aall females. need some bro heelp
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13/03/10 03:06:01 |
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6 |
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Male |
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13/03/10 03:07:25 |
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7 |
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Male |
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13/03/10 03:14:45 |
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8 |
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Java |
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Female |
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You need to understand what this man is doing. He is using you to get money to pay his bills and if his girlfriend knew he was that broke chances are she'd move on. This is what he deserves as he has treated you like crap telling you that the divorce is going through when he hasn't a dime to pay for it. He was so broken hearted that found himself a girlfriend. So how long did that take him a week or two to find her? He wants to appear as though he is attractive to the opposite sex. I hope his ego got satisfied? Did he have a great job?
I see no need in having any more conversations with him as he has made it clear he's moved on. Let him find his own money tree somewhere else. |
| Date/Time |
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16/03/10 03:41:23 |
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