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Singles Chat Live Talk Discussion
Harlan's Single Talkshop chat room "Talk It Out Therapy" is open 24/7. Use as needed. No appointment necessary, No waiting, No cost.
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| Where you're at |
| Just some things I learned along the way.
Not all divorces are the same, asking how to go about a divorce is difficult on forums, it is very hard to say use this attorney when I live in X state but you live in Y – hurt knows no bounds, so the forums are good for that and a conveyance of I know where you're coming from & that helps allot.
This is some of the hardest stuff one person can ever do.
Be kind to yourself, it is hard holding in some of the feelings and emotions that lye just under the surface of a person, if you spill your sole at work, expect it to come back to you when you have moved on, it cost some people their jobs as home spreads to the work place.
Our dear friends, another hard fact is, we loose often it seems divide our friends up suddenly and ruthlessly sides are chosen, it happens, for your friends be mindful it is hard to hear what a dirt bag the STBX (soon to be ex) is, like our children they also are caught in the middle of the onslaught that will ensue.
Our dear friends, they also can only take so much of us when we are down, go out to the park – ducks don;t mind if you cry while feeding them some bread and it does the body good to get out and have external experiences.
It is very difficult to say good bye, we only thought we knew when we sat out on this journey.
Can you work it out? Only you really know these answers, some are truly blind sided, some feel blindsided but when honestly looked back upon after time has past they realize this was an inevitable happening in their life as it became apparent when “_______________†<--Fill in the blank.
While it feels like this is it, the absolute end of all things, in one way it is and so it is as it should be, any relationship worth it's salt is a disheartening event to be part of, like death it hurts allot.
While it is not the end of you permanently, it is the end of how you have understood it to be up until this time.
When is a good time to date? You be the judge, use common sense as anyone during a vulnerable time mixed with a dash of alcohol is a mis-hap just looking for a place to happen, it is your heart at stake here and you know what you can and cannot handle.
Going back? If you can stomach painful rejection in the prospect of positive outcomes then by all means, again I cannot really know your heart, your limits or your relationship as it was and is.
Confusion, it gets better should you really be wiped out from all of the events that naturally unfold when friends become enemies, take care of yourself first and foremost so that you may help another.
Eating, keep it easy, microwaved food sucks, but it is better than tummy acid and your mind is burning off every ounce of energy it can to your detriment without adding food.
Sleep, TV on low (very low, just enough for distraction when your eyes are closed) this helps but does not stop the wandering mind that sometimes finds it is suffocated with fear and uncertainty, select a channel that when you wake up you're not hearing a soap (we've had enough of that crap) you need restful sleep and a calm awakening to start your day.
Starting your day, start it with a break, most have problems sleeping, when you get a grip on sleep try waking an hour early, take that time to drink your coffee, tea or whatnot out side as the morning wakes you'll see it starting hear birds and whatnot – you're kind of making the rules now, how would you like for it to be? It has been over 6 years and I still start each day with a break.
Mental health, It returns and while it may seem far away we do not do well when we are in limbo – we each choose how long we hang out there in limbo, if you do a meet every 4-6 months and have a “get together†expect limbo to last for some time.
60-90 no contact, beside attorney or the like, things that handle the divorce – above covers why.
In the end, it all works out, in the start and middle it is a frightening and shitty place to find oneself, many more have been where you are, some have committed suicide and some have been within seconds of it, ask for help or seek help if this becomes an issue as it touches off so much in the after math.
In the end you'll be ok and you will smile again and feel whole, sometimes even happier as a result of all the terrible shit you had to go through in order to get here.
See ya when you get here with bells on!
Sorry but I know the board will not maintain the format as I typed it and I didn't desire manually adding tags to make paragraphs appear correctly (I'm assuming this as it has been this way for some time, hope you can read it. |
| By : Threw away the T-shirt : Male |
| Date/time : 08/07/10 01:55:52 |
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1 |
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juliet |
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Female |
| Reply |
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threw away the t-shirt, 25 year old love letters, 25 year old trinkets, and ... 6 months of utter confusion. However, I feel as if I am grieving for the death of a love one. |
| Date/Time |
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14/07/10 16:47:34 |
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